37. The Beauty of the Beast: Snuggling Up with Jealousy

There’s been a lot of talk about open relationship…polyamory, consensual non-monogamy, open monogamy, and so forth. We’re exploring the possibilities. It’s heaving underfoot. And it’s rocking the boat.

We are recognizing that there are far more options to choose from than the moth-eaten, one-size-fits-all panty girdle that’s been handed down for eternity.

We’re venturing to construct more nuanced sex lives to suit naturally changing, fluctuating needs. That’s far more in alignment with humanity and healthy human sexuality.

It’s exciting. And it’s scary, because opening relationships (and even just opening our minds about relationship) can also open up a big can of worms. All the dross that’s been hidden under the rug (honestly for centuries) gets exposed, and it can be hard to know how to begin to address it.

One of the most dreaded things to confront around opening sexual and romantic relationships is jealousy. In fact, many of us would prefer to avoid it like the plague, especially in the midst of pandemic fatigue! It’s hot and intense, because it touches upon some of our deepest insecurities that have become lodged behind our repressive sexual mythologies.

But although it can be utterly agonizing at its worst, working through jealousy can offer the opportunity of a lifetime, allowing for a full opening to love, life, and sexuality.

In fact, it’s so rich, that even if you’re not currently looking beyond monogamy, it’s worth a real investigation into jealousy (or possessiveness) in general….just to see where you might have baggage to clean up and make room to bloom and grow…and just to get in on some of the magnificent beauty that comes from wrestling with mythical beasts.

In that spirit, I’ll dedicate this post to useful resources for you venerable souls willing to venture into the wilderness within to discover truth, freedom, intimacy, and emotional and sexual enlightenment.

I’ve written a small, simple guide to cheer for the team and help lead us to victory, based on first-hand experience and fundamental insights into life, love, and sexuality, which I’m offering here as a free downloadable pdf document:

Ugh, Jealousy…a Pocket Guide for Success When You’re a Hot Mess!

Here’s a link to a previous post on jealousy (posted June, 2017):

Jealous Again?

And also, here is a practical resource for inner work on jealousy:

The Jealousy Workbook: Exercises and Insights for Managing Open Relationships, by Kathy Labriola

And here’s a link to a web-page with many more links on the topic!

Resources on Jealousy, Mile High Psychotherapy Blog

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