I promised synthesis… so let’s get down to business. It is the age of information, and we are fully inundated! Turning information overload into practical power tools demands full participation.
The two most important ingredients of this participation are honesty and responsibility. We’ve actually already begun, in the first two blogs, approaching both of these by
- 1) Telling the truth about the imminently hot blooded nature of human sexuality and its central role in our lives, and
- 2) Looking directly at ourselves to understand (and ultimately rectify) society’s sexual ills.
Really understanding sex is a deeply personal affair that involves a deeply personal revolution. I call it revolutionary because it is transforming the foundation of our social paradigm.
The social paradigm says honesty around sex is actually irresponsible– that it corrupts the innocence of children and threatens the security of adults. In fact, the opposite is true. Our “protective” lies destroy youthful innocence by cloaking sex in shame, and create brittle relational structures that foster cripplingly insecure adults. Look around and see how true this is!
Then begin the revolution by taking one thing (from the list in the last blog, perhaps) about sex that makes you uncomfortable and pushing against it’s boundary by being more open and vocal about it and taking action. See what happens. Objectively observe. How does your honesty irritate and/or inspire others, and what does your experience tell you about yourself and the world in which you live?
The other night I had confirmation of the constriction of people’s sexuality. I participated in a lecture/Q&A on sexuality at the university near where I live. Twenty-nine people were in the room before the lecture started. After the speaker and his topic were announced, a stream of youthful bodies flowed out the door, so that when the lecture began there were only ten people left in the room.
Since sex hardly counts as a drab, irrelevant topic, I can only assume that they exited because of the discomfort they felt around this topic. These 18- to 22-year-olds are the epitome of hot bloodedness, so their hasty departure clearly identifies the societal problem at hand as well as the need for a forum like this website.
The idea that children are innocent is completely askew. Children deal with sex exactly how they deal with everything else in their lives. If they have an interest in it, then they move toward it. If they are curious, they seek out data (usually by asking questions) about the topic that stimulates them. When they are confronted by an object or topic that doesn’t interest them, they simply move on to the next thing that does. Hence the idea that we, as adults, could, by being honest about our own sexuality, somehow “corrupt” kids, is absurd. If they aren’t interested, they will just go on. If they see people having sex and they don’t care about it, then what is the problem? And if they care about it, then also, what is the problem? Sex is not a disease that kids need to be inoculated against. By treating it as such, we are distorting the actuality of it, so that when they are really ready to address the topic, we have already messed them up enough with our own lies, deceits, and inappropriate (that is, dishonest) behavior. Our own educational system has shown beyond a doubt that when kids want to know something, they pay attention and collect information. And when they don’t want to know, they can’t be bothered. You can’t persuade, cajole, manipulate or force them to learn (just look at the idiots graduating high school for proof). So you do not have to protect them, because that is not protection. Protection is telling them the truth about sex, so that they can be prepared as older people to approach the topic honestly and responsibly. What the hell are we doing to ourselves and our children?