Do we live in a sexually repressed society? This is an important question that needs to be asked (and answered) at this juncture, because in order to get free, we must first understand that we are not already there. And… the sexually saturated media throughout our midst can give the appearance of sexual freedom when the reality is quite otherwise.
Since we are each a reflection of society, asking ourselves the following series of personal questions can bring it home to help us get a sense of how liberated we actually are when push comes to shove:
- Am I comfortable with my own nudity? (in public?…in private?…with close friends and family?) Am I fine with others’ nudity in my waking presence?
- Am I easily able to (non-jokingly) bring up any sexual topic with my friends?…with my parents?…with my children?…with colleagues at work? Why or why not?
- In romantic and sexual relationships, am I comfortable discussing and acknowledging my own, and my partner’s, varied sexual interests (in other people… in kinky things)?
- Am I comfortable asking for sex when I want it? (Is it even clear to me when I want sex, or is it tangled up in all kinds of other things?)
- Am I at ease when others speak about their sexuality or sex in general?
- Am I comfortable asking other people about their sexuality and answering others’ questions about my own?
- When I meet someone, am I able to tell them that I find them sexually attractive? Do I think that’s appropriate? If not, why? Would I balk if they said that to me? If so, why?
- Am I comfortable using descriptive terms of genital anatomy (i.e. my/your vagina, or my/your penis)?
- Am I comfortable expressing appreciation for pornography?
- Am I at ease asking about what other people really do, how they do it, what they like and what they want sexually?
A “no” answer to the above questions represents a form of the inner censorship that results from sexual embarrassment from social training, and deserves reflection. *(If you have been a victim of sexual abuse, your answers may reflect that trauma more than any general societal training. In this case, you may want to ask yourself the question: What does a healthy sexual experience look like?… And, it may be wise to seek the guidance of a therapeutic professional to assist you personally through healing that trauma.)
Finally, a couple more questions worth pondering:
- Am I confused or frustrated by mixed messages about sex from people I know or in the world at large, and do I feel isolated in that state?
- What is my vision for a fully sexually liberated society and for a fully sexually liberated being?
There’s a lot here. Let’s talk!