We are innately, thoroughly, incontrovertibly sexy creatures. From the fetus to the deathbed, sex is irrepressibly present. Sex permeates and saturates every aspect and fiber of our living being. It motivates us in almost every realm of our lives, and yet, we are born into a world that overtly denies, suppresses, condemns and distorts this basis from day one. Born naked, stripped of our sexual dignity, then stuffed into a frigid onesie!
So, being hotblooded means shaking off the shackles, breaking the chains, and reclaiming this undistorted aspect of ourselves. It means, first and foremost, telling the truth– the truth about how we feel, what we want, how we want it, and who we are. Being hotblooded means seeing it, saying it, and doing it, like it is, which means uncovering that hidden reality, piece by piece. It means dropping out of the games that everybody plays (yet nobody truly wins), which means you get back all that wasted energy to warm your engines. It means taking the chances you were taught to avoid, the chances that spoke in your truest voice and expressed your most authentic impulse (why wait for senility to free your inner censor?).
It is quite simple, but it is certainly not easy (that’s why I’m here to offer help… thank god I had a boatload of spectacular guidance myself).
It can be quite disruptive, but freedom is not free, as someone said (or as spoken in Fight Club, “To make an omelette you’ve got to break some eggs!”). It matters because it is your life.
It matters, because “so long as citizens are embarrassed by their sexual appetites, democracy is the friend of censors” (David Allyn,Make Love, Not War). Politically, this means that my embarrassment drives me to crusade against “obscenity” to protect my fragile sensibilities, and your embarrassment keeps you quiet while I succeed in stealing your civil, democratic rights. On a personal level, it means that embarrassment keeps me from telling you the truth and you from doing the same, therefore, preventing relational intimacy, sexual responsibility, emotional maturity and mutual satisfaction. This keeps us all relatively distanced, isolated, lonely and unfulfilled. What a deal!
It matters because being “hotblooded” means being truly alive. And bringing ourselves, our relationships and sex into the heat of the real, live, present moment is worth it.
Please follow my blog to take the trip as I talk about the specifics of what it actually looks like to begin, and continue, melting away the layers of distortion and censorship in order to reclaim our birthright to a vibrant sexual existence.